


i want to grow old with you (hands trembling, i feel this way i'm sure)

by katfoxmandu



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Future Fic, Slow Burn, SuperCorp, a mix of both, i guess, karlena, plus the present, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-21 11:25:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10684335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katfoxmandu/pseuds/katfoxmandu
Summary: it's 2027kara is a professor of journalism at national city universitylena has expanded l-corp from her home in metropolisthey're both recruited to help the DEO with an imminent alien threatthing is, they haven't seen each other in 10 yearsbecause the break-up was messythe past is darkbut the future is bright





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i've legit planned this out (which never happens when i write, so hot dog)  
> i hope you enjoy  
> and mon-el is dead, so that alone should make this a winner
> 
> inspired by little indian's like vineyard

“Dr. Danvers, I’m not sure I understand. You gave me a 73%? The references were credible! I had primary sources on all of them, you can check-“

“Ryan, I’m sorry, your grade is your grade. And it’s final. You had a weak argument with no substantial claims backing it up. The sources were present, yes, but their use was insufficient to show exactly what actions Monsanto has been taking.”

“But professor, we all know they illegally frame local farmers-“

“Mr. Dennison, I’m not claiming they aren’t innocent. You just need to prove it. And frankly, this paper does not. Your opinion, Ryan, doesn’t matter. The facts do.”

Ryan huffs, gripping the paper tighter in his hands so that it crumples slightly. He nods in resignation and lets out a small ‘fine, yeah’ before exiting the office. Kara squeezes her eyes shut and pinches the bridge of her nose. Headaches are getting more and more common as she gets older. Especially when students come in, ready to yell their way towards an A.

It’s nearing the end of the semester and her students are starting to actually get serious about their grades. Unfortunately, it comes with them finally attending office hours and begging for leniency. Something Kara doesn’t give out freely.

There’s a knock on the open door and Kara looks up, grinning widely at who she sees.

“Hey! I was hoping it was you,” she tilts her head up to accept the welcoming kiss, smiling into it before pulling back. “How was your day? Better than mine, I hope,” Kara reaches up and pulls Sam into her lap, wrapping her arms around her waist.

“It was good, actually. My T.A.s got all of the lab reports graded and scores entered. So-“ Sam goes in for another kiss “-I’m free tonight.” Her hands move to tuck Kara’s hair behind her ear.

“It just so happens, I’m free as well,” Kara breathes. She closes her eyes as Sam’s hands, looped around Kara’s neck, begin weaving their way through Kara’s hair. “Hmmmm. Thank you,” Kara hums with pleasure. The stress of the week being released as Sam’s fingers begin massaging into Kara’s scalp.

“Dinner then? Pot stickers are on me. I’ve found a recipe that you will absolutely love. A touch of Sriracha and a little less green onion.”

Kara opens her eyes at the prospect of food, immediately concerned, “But I love green onions. Sam, you don’t have to cook. Really. I’ll pick up some take out! Promise.”

“Kara, you can’t survive on take out forever. We’re not in grad school anymore,” Sam untangles herself from Kara’s lap and stands, adjusting her pencil skirt. “We have big-girl jobs and big-girl paychecks. We can buy real ingredients and make real food. And it tastes ten-times better.”

“Sam-“ Kara begins to interrupt but she’s stopped by Sam leaning forward, placing her hands on the armrests of Kara’s chair.

“It’ll be fine,” she gives Kara a quick kiss. “More than fine. Delicious. And I’ll make, like, 50, so there’ll be plenty.”

Kara laughs as Sam stands and heads towards the door, “Fifty is a little excessive.”

Sam turns, one hand on the door frame, “Is it?”

Kara grins shyly, ducking her head, her cheeks bright pink.

“I’ll see you at six?” Sam raises her eyebrows, a smirk on her face.

“I’ll see you at six.”

++++

It’s a cold September, yet Kara doesn’t feel it. She wishes she did. But she can’t. The jacket she pulls closer against the wind is a farce. A ruse to fit in. Just like the car that she drives. And the glasses she wears. All a ploy to convince the world that she, Kara Danvers, is just like them.

Her car beeps as it unlocks and Kara pulls the door open. She throws her bags onto the passenger seat and climbs in behind them. Starting the car brings in a rush of air from the vents, which she welcomes immediately. It’s like flying. The wind on her face, pulsing through her hair, her fingers, her cape. Almost like flying.

Kara glances at the clock.

6:45.

Shit. Shoot. Sam’s love of profanity has rubbed off on her. Sweet Kara Danvers. Now practically a sailor.

She backs up quickly, the radio chiming in on the evening news. NPR. It’s what 30-something-year-old professors listen to. Because Kara Danvers is Dr. Danvers. Human. And completely normal.

_“And in other news, it’s been reported that L-Corp will be debuting new technology that will advance the way nature-based solutions are being used along coastal areas. Seeing as Metropolis is facing rising sea levels, there has been an increasing need to find ways to combat this threat without damaging local ecosystems. Lena Luthor has scheduled a press conference for this Friday-“_

Kara shuts off the radio. Slams off the radio. The power button is mashed in so far, she can no longer see it. Her breathing is heavy, her hands gripping the steering wheel. A light rain begins to fall, pattering against the windshield, the roof of the car. The sound is amplified in Kara’s ears and she brings her hands to her eyes, pushing her glasses up to rest on the top of her head. She leans forward, resting her forehead on the wheel.

She stays like this until a car horn sounds behind her. She’d never really gotten out of the parking lot, her car mid-way through backing up out of the parking space. The horn comes again, this time a little more impatient.  Kara sits up and pulls her glasses back on her nose. She takes a deep breath.

Turn the wheel. Gas. Brake. Dinner with Sam.

Lena.

The name hits her with a jolt. She hasn’t thought about Lena in…years. Nor does she want to. It had ended nearly 10 years ago. And it was messy. And complicated. And nothing that Kara had wanted. And she’s pretty sure it wasn’t what Lena had wanted either. It had blown up, really. Exploded.  Not in the literal sense. But it might as well have.

The horn comes a third time, prolonged and angry.

Her phone starts ringing in her bag next to her.

The driver behind her starts to yell.

And Kara cries.

* * *

 

_“NO NO NO NO PLEASE,” Lena screams as she runs, unable to contain her laughter. “KARA DANVERS I SWEAR- ARRHGHG!!”_

_She’s lifted into the air and twirled around, a strong grip beneath her legs, on her back. Her hair flies behind her and she catches glimpses of the crashing waves, the sand dunes. They alternate as she spins. Yet her eyes are drawn to the one holding her. Bright blue eyes. Black-rimmed glasses. A shining smile._

_The pair tumbles into the sand, coming to a rest, breathless and grinning like fools. Lena rests her head on Kara’s stomach and reaches for Kara’s hand. She finds it and tightens their grip. So she can’t let go. So she can’t leave. So she can remember this. Her eyes close and she lets her ears take precedence. The soaring seagulls above them. The whisper of the water running over the shore. Kara’s heartbeat, surprisingly distinguishable. Lena runs her free hand along Kara’s arm. She counts the freckles. Four. Five. Six._

_Kara brushes Lena’s hair from her forehead. Her fingers untangle the long strands of dark hair. The moment is comfortable. Perfect. Everything Lena had ever wanted. Everything Kara had ever wanted._

_“You know we can’t do this.”_

_Kara stays silent for a minute before responding, “I know.”_

_Lena sits up to face Kara, who follows suit. Criss-cross-applesauce._

_“It’s all so fresh, Kara. Everything that’s happened. It’s…” Lena stops, her voice faltering._

_“I know,” Kara’s voice is soft, barely audible._

_Lena takes her hands and moves closer, “I want this. I do. And when you’re ready we can have it.”_

_Kara looks away. She instead takes in the view in front of her, trying not to make eye contact with the one person she never wants to take her eyes off of._

_“Kara, please, do you understand?” Lena leans to the side, trying to catch Kara’s gaze._

_She blinks and looks down, her silence heavy._

_Lena runs her hands along Kara’s arms, her thumbs applying gentle pressure. A tear falls and lands on Lena’s hand. Another hits the sand. Then another._

_“It’s ok to be sad,” Lena cups Kara’s face. “He was important to you. You cared about him. You can be sad.”_

_The allowance to grieve opens a flood gate. The tears turn into sobs and Kara’s body is shaking as she buries her face in her hands. Lena pulls her close. Soothing noises drown out the sound of the beach. Just Lena’s voice, soft and reassuring._

_Everything will be alright._

_Everything will be ok._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in honor of earth day  
> and science marches everywhere

“The future of L-Corp is intrinsically connected with the future of this community. Working together to address the hazards posed by climate change will mitigate future risk and create a secure and resilient Metropolis. One that is utilizing the natural resources around us without exploitation while also benefiting from the natural ecosystem services these habitats provide. Our city will be safer. Our city will be greener. And the future, brighter. Thank you,” Lena steps back from the podium a few steps as applause comes from the audience before her.

She lets out a deep breath, one she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

The press conference had been a success. The turnout was more than she could have hoped for, with news outlets and journalists hoarding the front rows, accompanied by city officials and even a handful of local citizens. A success indeed.

Jess steps up to the microphone, “We’ll now be taking questions, yes we’ll start with the Daily Planet…”

Lena watches as Jess handles the questions with ease, answering with poise and confidence, something she’d grown into in the years since she was merely Lena’s secretary. She’d evolved to personal assistant and currently publicist. It suits her.

Occasionally she moves aside to allow Lena to answer a question or two from the reporters. Lena relishes the moments she gets to explain the details of this project that she’s spent months working on with her team. She loves it, she lives for this.

“Final question, the Tribune.”

“Yes, hi, I’m curious as to whether or not you would consider implementing a project such as this on the west coast? I know National City isn’t exempt from a threat such as this and green infrastructure and natural vegetation would prove helpful. I mean, we can’t rely on the Supers for everything, right?”

His joke gets a chuckle from the crowd as the fellow reporters nod in agreement.

Lena’s heart, however, skips a beat. Even the mention of National City is enough to shut her down, let alone discussion about super heroes. A topic she avoids. Which proves difficult, seeing as the resident hero of Metropolis is Superman. But she manages. And, usually, she succeeds.

Lena steps up to the podium, ready to address the question when another reporter quips in a comment, “Speaking of Supers, is there any progress being made with L-Corp and their work on alien advocacy?”

This sparks a few murmurs and more raised hands.

“Is there any involvement of the Supers with L-Corp?”

“Supergirl has previously worked exclusively with your company, is there any chance she’s still a presence?”

“Would environmentally friendly efforts be at risk from super hero activity?”

Lena can’t breathe. She can’t think. The questions blur into one, the rustle of the reporters fading into background noise. A firm hand grips her shoulders and pulls her off stage. Lena glances back to see Jess controlling the microphone, nearly yelling to be heard over the reporters.

“L-Corp is no longer affiliated with super hero activity and hasn’t been for the past ten years. Any concerns regarding alien advocacy are not relevant to this press conference and questions involving this matter will not be taken at this time. Thank you.”

The door to the town car slams shut and the world grows dark and quiet. Lena rests her head back against the seat rest and closes her eyes. The success she had dreamed of was dashed in the last few minutes. Her freeze-up hadn’t helped. A deer in headlights. Unable to move. Unable to say anything.

The door opens and Jess climbs in, urging the driver to head back to the office.

“Hey, I’m sorry about that,” she places her hand on Lena’s thigh and squeezes gently before pulling out her phone to check their schedule for the rest of the day. “If I’d known they’d bring up that shit again I’d have sent out an advanced notice banning questions about it. It’s been, what, eight years since we switched over? You’d think they’d get over it.”

Jess looks up from her phone when Lena doesn’t respond. She sits silently, watching the landscape blur past the window.

“Lena?”

No response.

“Lena, are you ok?”

Jess puts her phone back in her purse and shifts so that she’s facing Lena as best she can in the cramped backseat.

“Is this about Kara?”

At the mention of her name, Lena starts. Her eyes flash downwards, her hands clasp together. Her answer, however, proves opposite.

“No. It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

Jess runs her fingers through her hair, her frustration growing, “You’re not fine. You need help. This-“ she gestures at Lena’s hunched figure “-is not ok.”

Lena turns to face her, eyes rimmed with tears, “Jess, I told you I’m fine. So I’m fine. We’re not talking about this.”

Jess doesn’t take no for an answer, “Bullshit. We’re talking about it. Because for ten years we’ve danced around this subject as though it doesn’t exist. As though the move to Metropolis was completely natural, the shift to environmental policy a logical step. That’s bullshit, Lena! And you know it!”

Lena looks down, opens her mouth, then closes it.

“You called me, in the middle of the night, demanding that I move with you back to Metropolis. You’d triple my pay. I left everything for you, Lena. I put up with all this, this mess. I’ve managed to eliminate National City from your news outlets. Superman doesn’t make his rounds near your building. Because any mention of those things turns you into this,” she again indicates Lena’s upset state. “All this and you’ve never explained why. Everyone’s always on egg shells around you. You don’t go out. You spend all of your free time in that damn lab. I don’t get it, Lena! I’m trying to help, but enough is enough. I can’t do this! I can’t help you without you helping yourself first!”

Jess pauses, finding Lena to be openly crying, silent tears making paths down her cheeks.  She softens at this, yet is still determined for an answer.

“What did she do to you? What happened?”

Lena doesn’t respond right away, taking a few moments to compose herself. Her hands shakily wipe away the last of the tears and she manages to hoarsely get out, “She didn’t do anything.”

Jess’s face scrunches in confusion, “I don’t understand. Why did she make you leave?”

“She didn’t. She begged me to stay.”

* * *

 

_“Kara, what are you doing here? It’s almost 2am…” Lena pulls the door open, seeing a distraught Kara in front of her._

_She pulls her hands into the sleeve of her sweatshirt, bringing the cuff up to her mouth to chew on the material, “I didn’t know where else to go.”_

_“We talked about this, we can’t-“_

_“I know, I know, it’s just that Alex is with Maggie and James and Winn don’t really do, you know, and I really don’t want to be alone right now, can’t be alone right now,” Kara says all of this with her eyes looking anywhere but at Lena’s. They find them, however, when she finishes, her eyebrows raised in hopefulness._

_Lena sighs and concedes, opening the door wider to let Kara in._

_Kara gives her a grateful smile, sniffing back the last of her tears, and enters the apartment._

_It’s as cozy as Kara remembers. There are blankets covering the couches, pillows line the cushions, and plush rugs are a welcome feeling beneath her feet. It’s dark, Lena having felt her way half-asleep from her bedroom. She guides Kara towards one of the sofas, who immediately pulls one of the blankets up to her chin._

_“Lena, thank you. I’m sorry to do this, I’ll leave in the morning, it’s just-“_

_Lena has made her way back to the kitchen, turning on a small light and setting a tea kettle on the stove. She turns back to Kara, “Nonsense. You’re always welcome here, Kara. Always.” Her smile brightens the dim apartment and she reaches into the cupboard for a couple of mugs._

_Kara wraps herself more fully into the blanket, breathing in the scent. Almost like Christmas. Yet fresh. Clean. And entirely Lena. Her eyelids droop and as she settles further into the couch. Warm. Content._

_She’s wakened by the soft touch of Lena’s fingers across her cheek a few minutes later, “Hey darling, I’ve got something for you.” She presses a warm cup of hot chocolate into Kara’s hands. “You need to drink something. I gathered you haven’t eaten either?”_

_Kara bites her lip as she accepts the cup, shaking her head._

_Lena sits across from her on the couch, pulling Kara’s legs across her lap, “Breakfast in the morning. For now, this will do.” She raises her own cup to her mouth. Kara does the same, relishing in the sweet taste, the warmth it brings._

_After a few minutes, Lena sets her cup down on the coffee table, adjusting the blankets that cover their legs, “How do you feel?”_

_Kara takes in the question, knowing full well it doesn’t apply to the current moment, “I um…I’m getting better. Cat got me my job back.”_

_“What? Really? That’s great news!”_

_Kara watches the last of her hot chocolate swirl in the mug, “I turned it down.”_

_Lena’s enthusiasm disappears but a light of hope remains, “Kara, you know you can always come work for L-Corp. I mean, I’ve always considered starting a tech magazine, and what better time than now-“_

_“I’m going back to school,” Kara looks up from her drink._

_Lena tilts her head, surprised at this confession._

_“I want to get my journalism degree. I’ve already done the generals from my first degree, so I can finish in about a year and a half with the journalism courses and National City University offers a great Masters to PhD program that I can apply for after that. I’ll be Dr. Danvers, just like Alex!  And Eliza. And Jeremiah. But mostly, I love to write, Lena. And honestly, I had no idea what I was doing, Snapper was right. Getting the proper education will really help. I can’t just be Supergirl. I can’t. That’s not me,” Kara pauses at this and Lena takes a sharp breath. Of course she’s known about Kara’s alter-ego. But it’s never been addressed. It’s never been said out loud._

_Before she can react, Kara continues, “I need to be Kara as well. Mo-Mike was…he was…” Kara takes a deep breath, “…I cared about him, but he taught me…I learned that…there’s more to me than saving others. Sometimes I have to do things for myself.”_

_Kara resumes her swirl watching, biting one side of her lip as she concentrates. Lena doesn’t know what to say. Kara’s monologue was so dense, so full of information, that she’s unsure of how to proceed. She leans forward, takes Kara’s cup and sets it down so that she can take Kara’s hands. Kara looks up, her eyes catching Lena’s._

_“Well, future Dr. Danvers, I think this is a great plan.”_

_Kara grins sleepily, the signs of her earlier distress still visible, yet fading in the comfort of Lena’s apartment. Lena’s presence. Lena’s touch. She moves forward, closing the distance between them, hesitant. The tentativeness gives way as her eyes flicker down to Lena’s lips, to her eyes, back again. Lena’s do the same. A hand shifts. Skin touches skin._

_Kara’s mouth find Lena’s and it’s electric. Her earlier promises that this was simply a platonic visit gone. Kara pushes further, Lena falling backwards onto the pillows, meeting the kiss with the same eagerness. She’s wanted this for months. Since a flustered Kara Danvers first entered her office with Clark Kent._

_“And what about this?” Kara asks between kisses, “Is this a good plan?”_

_Lena opens her eyes. Kara is straddling her, her weight supported by her arms on either side of Lena, yet there’s slight pressure where their bodies meet. It’s secure. It’s safe. It’s too soon. She tries to sit up but can’t find the strength to get out from under Kara._

_“Kara, it’s only been-“_

_“Lena.”_

_“It’s too soon, you’re still-“_

_Kara sits up with surprising speed, “He’s gone, Lena. I’ve accepted that.” The distress returns. Tear-rimmed eyes. Crinkled brows. Fingers twisting together, “I need you. I want to be with you.”_

_Lena pushes herself up to a sitting position, “I don’t want to rush anything, Kara. I don’t want this to be a rebound relationship. If we do this, we do this for real.”_

_Kara’s shoulders sag in slight frustration, “This is real, Lena. This is real. I’m not, I’m not confused or acting on emotional distress. I want this. I won’t-“_

_“Hey, hey,” Lena comforts. “I believe you-“ she nods “-I do. It’s ok.”_

_Kara looks at Lena, slight sadness in her eyes, “Is it still a good plan?”_

_Lena cups Kara’s face in her hands, determined to remove the pain she sees, “Yes.” She kisses her, “It’s a great plan.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have too many unfinished stories  
> but so many ideas  
> thanks for powering through with me
> 
> tumblr: @catfoxmandoo


End file.
